Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
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