Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize