He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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