i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize