Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize