Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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