I feel like I'm in dance class right now
my phone needs a breathalizer
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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