Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
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I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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