its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
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Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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