I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
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I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
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Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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