Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
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Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
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Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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