Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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