I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
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We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
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I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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