i think i have two assholes
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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