i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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