You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
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She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
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A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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