Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize