I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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