Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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