i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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