no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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