Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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