Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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