What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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