I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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