Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
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You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
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Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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