I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize