My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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