so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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