I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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