he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
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