I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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