I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
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The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
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She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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