Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
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since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
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There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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