belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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