I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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