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dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
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