hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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