then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize