super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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