And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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