Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize