Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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