Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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