I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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