Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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