She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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