i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He did a backflip because drugs
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