3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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