Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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